| I rip my feelings off my heart and stick a smile on the mask |
[entries|friends|calendar] |
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| i think this is true but i don't like the last part |
[ 06.06.05 - 2:12pm] |
~*~Result nr 12~*~
Your power is: The ability to breathe
under water
Explanation: When swimming, you don't
need to get up and take a new fresh breathe
since you take in the oxygen from the water.
This allows to stay in the water as much as
you'd like. In good purposes it can save
drowning victims. In evil purposes it can make
the person drag people down to the depth and
have them drowned. This helps you escape the
world, if even for a bit, since you have grown
to despise it so much.
You have been a beaten dreamer with aspirations
crushed. Now you try to control your hopes
because you don't want to get hurt again. You
feel there is no hope for you in the future and
has no real goals. But unlike the Controller of
Time you do still feel even if it's mostly
negative emotions. You have few friends, if
any, and feel you are unable to speak about
your troubles. And unlike the Transformer, you
don't feel happiness nowadays. All seems to be
filled despair whereever you go and you are
bitter becaue the world has failed you. It
didn't turn out the way you wanted it too and
you feel betrayed. It is also likely the
feeling of betrayal comes from past
relationships where you were left alone in the
end.
Negative aspects: Since you are highly
depressed and not letting out your emotions
properly there is a possibility for cutting, to
let the emotions out. Also, if the feeling of
despair grows to strong you might consider
taking your life.
What Power is Compatible With You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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[ 05.24.05 - 6:25pm] |
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this is it. no more leaving comments in my journal if you either are an asshole or you go through someone on my friends list journal to get to mine. this is done and if it keeps happening then saddly that person who is on my friend list will have to be taken off and i don't want to do that. or this journal will just be deleted.
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| stole this from kristi and ashly |
[ 04.26.05 - 10:57pm] |
hey what the hell i guess i'll put this thing too
i ____ Robyn.
Robyn is ____.
if i were alone in a room with Robyn, i would _______.
i think Robyn should _____.
Robyn needs ______.
i want to _______ Robyn.
someday Robyn will ________.
Robyn reminds me of _______.
without Robyn _______.
memories of Robyn are ________.
Robyn can be __________.
_______ is how i describe meeting Robyn.
worst thing about Robyn is _________.
best thing about Robyn is _________.
i am ________ with Robyn.
if i could say one thing to Robyn it would be _________.
Robyn says _________ a lot.l do this thing too
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| friends only |
[ 04.24.05 - 2:25am] |
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malice mizer-beast of blood |
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i have decided tomake this journal friends only because far to many people are finding it and knowing my buisness. later
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| home |
[ 02.27.05 - 12:04am] |
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cascade-miracle |
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i'm home now from my audition. today didn't go so well. i don't really want to talk about it. i just know that i am really disappointed in myself. After les miserables is over i am done musical theater i don't want to do it anymore. i'm just going to do psychology. i'm not meant to be on broadway. so yeah most of the day sucked. and my dad was yelling and screaming because we got lost. yeah he should get shot in the head. but yeah i'm home and i am glad. bryan was here for like 2 hours. i love him oh so much. i'm so happy he came to see me i needed it. that's all for now.oh yeah and yesturday was fun. went shopping with my mom to get a shirt for my audition and my friend tessia was there so i hung out with her and then jen's sister, jess. i love her. we went to the pet store because gothika is teething like crazy and chewed my bed set to shit. my poor purple leopard print bed set :( yeah then i tried on prom dresses .i would like to say i hate my boobs! they are to buig. but yeah went to ruby tuesdays with dorothy and tessia and bryanna. and that was fun well that's all for now. lader
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| feeling enraged |
[ 02.01.05 - 10:16pm] |
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yeah so i just got home from drivers ed class and i don't usually update this thing but i feel like i am about to go on a killing rampage. i am so FUCKING sick of people saying or telling my i'm STUPID. i know i am you don't have to tell me. i'm not oblivous to my stupidity. i hate my drivers ed teacher so much. i would really like to shoot him in his fucking face right now. like i think i have an anger problem or high blood pressure or my anxiety is coming back way bad. like i can't control myself. my heart is racing and like i am so hot and it's like cold in here. i'm just like freaking out and i am like what the hell is going on? like mr. charrete was talking to me today and like i couldn't concentrate. my brain is just so messed up so after he was done asking me all his questions i just stared at him in silence and then burst into the laughter like he must seriously think i am fucked in the head. it was so funny not that i think of it. so he was like what is so funny? and i told him i'm really sorry mr. charette but i have been really stressed and my brain is everywhere and everything you just said to me was blah blah blah eponine knowing your part blah blah getting into character blah. like i have no idea what is up with me.i'm just like messed up in the head. yeah so back to drivers ed. i get there and i was stressed because my driving manual counts as three test grades so i missed like 10 questions so i was rushing to find them.then asshole (aka drivers ed teacher)decides to pass out the midterm. so he passes it out and i start freaking out because all the words were like a pile of mush to me. i was like ohhh holy shit. so i was like panicking because that test is also 3 test grades and if you fail that you basically fail drivers ed at my school. so i was like oh crap i'm gonna die. so then asshole decides to let people would in partners so me and danielle decided to work together. we had a hard time but got through it. just because we were the last ones to finish he told danielle and i that were both going to fail because we are to slow and basically called us stupid so we were like what the hell? i hate how the asshole has his favorites and sucks up to the jocks and pretty girls. i hate it so much. he is alwayz so rude to me so i have decided to no longer speak to him and judge nod instead. so yeah after he went over the test we were like well we didn't do to shabby and that he came over and once again told us we were gonna fail. so yeah then he gave us this unit thing to do and said he was going to count it as 2 test grades so i was like great. so danielle and i worked together again. we double checked all our answers because if you were working in pairs if to get 2 wrong you get a zero. so i was ok make sure everything is correct to prove him wrong. so once again we were one of the last people to finish but you now his buddies were in the back and weren't done and didn't have anything said to them. but he comes over and stands over my shoulder and watches everything we do. he did that during the midterm too. so i was getting pissed and i just looked at him with a look like why don't you fuck off? so yeah he decided to once again look at danielle and i and say you guys are so slow and don't know what your doing your definately going to fail. and blah he went on. so i was like rawr. i don't think i have ever been so happy to get out of somewhere until tonight. but yeah i feel like going on a killing rampage like seriously. rawr watch out!!! heheh wow that was lame. but yeah I HOPE MR.B FUCKING DIES AND BURNS IN ROTTEN HELL.
goodnight everyone sweet dreams gouls and gals.
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[ 01.21.05 - 10:50pm] |
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ayumi hamasaki "you" |
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well i guess i should really start uodating this thing more. welllllll things are finally to START to get better. had drivers ed tonight. i have had like no energy lately and have been falling asleep during on my classes and it's really horrible but with everything going i have no time to even relax for 2 seconds. my body is getting so run down. this sickness really screwed me over because for being absent for one day my grades dropped in every class. that really makes me sad. well yeah i've given up on emerson because all they care about is a stupid number from a stuopid fucking test and don't give a shit how good you can sing and how much talent you have so FUCK THAT! yeah so things have been crazy. but yeah i'll live. my7 body is just so exhausted i don't really know how much it can take.but yeah so that's what been going ]on. well not totally. but that's all you need to know DAMMIT!! goodnight everyone ihate to wake up reallllllllly early for sats tomorrow morning. wish me luck
-robyn
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| yeah this is the same as my deadjournal |
[ 01.11.05 - 10:10pm] |
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well i guess i should update this since i have not written in like more then a month.i fell really sick right now.fever and bad cough, asthma issues and crappiness and it just sucks. but yeah. i started drivers ed tonight. that was ok. my cough wouldn't stop and then my eyes starting watering and then my nose went nuts and i couldn't stop it. i was like what the crap?tomorrow i have a debate at haverhill for my UN class.i'm scared cuz i feel like crap and i hate talking in front of people.owell. it should be fun. well yeah things have been pretty shitty. but beginning to get better. not going to write anymore right now cuz i feel like my head is going to explode. thank god i stayed home from school today.
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| well i'm here to write.. |
[ 12.26.04 - 12:16am] |
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evanescence |
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yeah so today was pretty good. i finally got a FREAKEN PS2!!! woooooooooohooooooo yeah. anywhoo so today was alright. aunt brenda's sucked and i got screamed at the whole time but i didn't let it bother me. i got a gameboy advance and that thing is coolness.memere's was good and i didn't really let sherrie get to me even though she is a STUPID WHORE!! whooooooops did i just say that? yeah so things are getting better. THANK THE FRICKEN LORD even though i don't believe in you felt like saying it anywayz.been talking to sammie and i really want to help her out but i feel like she's not even trying. i dunno hopefully chris can get through to her. well yeah so things are good and i got the mesh top i have been wanting yay!!! much love to bryan. heheheh i'm happy. and it feels good. i haven't been happy for awhile and it feels good to be at peace. life is lovely. well it's not perfect but i'm doing alright. i love my bryan!!!!! thank you for you guys stopping by i love you both.well i am going to shut up now. i think i should go find clothes for the party. i want to be all prettiful. yay it's going to be so much fun. toodlez
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| well here i am |
[ 12.19.04 - 12:14am] |
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none at the current moment |
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well i haven't updated for awile. i don't really like typing anymore i don't really know why. my sis just got here with boomer it's nice she's here but i wonder how long it will take until i wish that she wasn't here any longer.yeah well things are slowly getting better. the chorus concert went better then i expected to be which is alwayz a good thing. hanging out with leesh on monday and haven't seen her foreever. dammit i miss her. crap i forgot to call sammie she is going to be so dissappointed i feel like such a horrible person. owell i'll call her tomorrow.yeah so yeah. i saw a series of unfortunet events last night and it rocked the socks. it was supposed to just be bryan and i but then chris came over which was cool cool and then eric ended up coming with us. ilove the chick in that she is so cute for such a young chick. she is going to be way beautiful when she gets older. which shopping with my mommy all day and that was fun.went to a bunch of places and got some pocky hmmmmmmmm yummmmmmmmmmmmmm. heehheh i have pocky AND YOU DON'T HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. ok i'll shut up now.well yeah so yeah. i'm tird but i don't want to go to bed. ehhhhhhh. i hate being online. i'm a retard. i have to go to friggen chuch tomorrow so i guess i should get to beddy bye. well tata for now. sweet dreams gouls and gals. i love you all. oh and here some pics.
 
here are some pics of my sexy lover
 
  o0kies well that is all for now oh and here is chris cool tattooo yay for tattoo and what the hell i'lll put gene here too. everyone love gene!! and heres jenn and now i am done those are my lovers. leesh i am definately bringing a camera on monday. nighty night everyone.
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| finally writing |
[ 12.13.04 - 6:49pm] |
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ffx-2 eternity |
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well the last few have really sucked but i'm ok now. i am actually very happy at the current moment except for feeling sick. ick.yeah. i'm going to the mall with my mommy to finally get some new friggen pants. it has been like a year since i have gotten new pants i think. i swear it's been like forever. i think i am going to get some more perfume to.ehh my head stomach hurt ouch. yeah well going out with my mommy not for long but atleast it's away from this hellhole.i get to go to the korean store and pick up some more pocky, yummmmmmm pocky.heheh i am such a loser.well i think i am going to stop typing now because my head is pounding but yeah i'm updating so here blah. hahah bye.
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| quiz |
[ 11.28.04 - 10:58pm] |
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orange range |
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a lot of shit has been going on and i'm finally starting to feel better here's a quiz for now.
You Are the Individualist |
4
You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.
You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.
You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.
Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.
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| yesturday's entry |
[ 11.27.04 - 12:37am] |
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boulevard of broken dreamz |
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THIS IS YESTURDAY'S ENTRY BECAUSE LIVEJOURNAL WAS MESSED UP!
today was such a bad day. the only good thing was chris coming to save me and seeing bryan. i just am about to the point that i am going to kill my sister. she tried to tell me that i cannot hang out with my friend today which is now friday cuz it's friggen 4 in the morning. the only reason why i am awake is so i can hang out with my friends. my thanksgiving sucked and everything just happened to hit me at once and i don't even know why i don't if it was cuz bryan was having thankgiving with jenn and not with me ( no offense to you guys) and that i was alone and that i missed last year even though it sucked cuz atleast he was here with me to deal with all the shit and i didn't have to go though with it alone like i had to this year. just everything hit me at once. and i just really hurt.i have been having a lot of bad thoughts lately and it really scares me because i have not thought about these things in such a long time and really just feel like i am not good enough anymore and not i can't make bryan happy like everyone else can but i don't anymore and that really hurts and i don't even know why i feel like this it just hutrts so much.i don't want to keep feeling like this anymore and i don't want to keep it in anymore cuz it hurts so much. i have been trying to keep it in cuz everyone else has their issues and i don't want to make their lives worth by adding my shit onto it.i dunno what's wrong with me. just today and all the screaming and fighting and just argueing and me being told to wake my ass up and that i don't do shit and i'm a lazy fat ass. thanx aunt rose i hope you know you suck at life. well if you haven't noticed this is my venting. i really hope it doesn't offend anyone but i just can't keep it in any longer it hurts to much. and there is other stuff but that is between bryan and i and you peoplez do not need to know!!! but i love bryan so much and i never want to lose him. i just miss how it used to be when we first got together. even though there was a lot more issues with our families i just feeel i dunno strange i'm not gonna get into anymore between bryan and i. just today really sucked and i could've used someone this morning was i was on the verge of losing all sanity.and i another final thing. to everyone who thinks they are the only one that has problems your wrong! and your not the only one so stop saying that you are and making me feel like this okies cuz it reallys bothers me that some people only look at their own damn life and their own damn problems and don't bother to think about all the other people that probably have way worse shit going on. stop the drama please your not the only one and you are not alone so please stop saying and feeling like it.anywhoo that you people probably think i am a major bitch now good night i love you all and miss youz.
leave a comment if you feel the need. sweet nightmares
bryan and the guild the last section is not directed anyway towards youz okies.
sweetnightmares goulz and galz i feel a lot better now nighty night
anywayz today was another really bad day wi th lotz of fighting between bryan and i. i don't know how much more i can take. my heart is breaking. i'm breaking into pieces slowly. my sanity is leaving and the urges are coming back. god please don't me go back to it for which i have not done so long
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| here is a quiz |
[ 11.09.04 - 8:48pm] |
i am too irritated with everything so here is a quiz.
you are DREAM ANGEL! you like to daydream of the
future, past, and even what's goin on now! you
hope for romance and love in your life and you
dream only the best for people... including
yourself! hey is that certain someone up there
in your dream?
What type of angel are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| quiz |
[ 11.08.04 - 8:06pm] |
Take the quiz: "What Kind of Soul Do You Retain?"
Dark
You haven't lived an all-so-ahppy life, and it's taken it's toll. Malice and cynicsm rotate around all your thoughts, and you are always prepared for the worst.
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| this is the last i swear |
[ 11.07.04 - 10:04pm] |
 I Will Take my own life!.
After going through with your own well thought out version of columbine you finally turn the gun on yourself... the thick coat of brains and coagulated blood was a bitch to get off the auditorium wall. You sure showed them!
Find out how you will die, Take the Death Quiz now!
Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"
September
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisureand traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic. interesting
Beast of Blood
Malice Mizer - Moi Dix Mois - Which side of Mana are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
heheheh yeah
| When i kill myself i'll... |
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i don't like this one but i stole it from jenn.
Take the quiz: "Which God or Goddess are you?"
God of Bloody Death
Gothic, dark, and a bit violent. Or, you could be a bit slutty, seductive, and dark. You go for the more goth type look complete with reds and blacks. You like death, it's cool to you. You escort those who have died a brutal or bloody death to their place of...well, their place, not much rest there.
that's pretty damn cool.
i thionk a few of these are depressing but i think a few too. cool cool well this is finally good night. night night. |
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| here's quiz before night night |
[ 11.07.04 - 9:46pm] |
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here's a quiz before bed. then off to sleepy sleepy i am pretty sure that i have a co-op job it pays 10 dollars an hour i just had to find a way there and i have found a bus route that goes to it. yay for me robyn will finally have money and will be able to pay for herself and get her license and will be able to shut up stupid fat ass father. haha fatty!heheh i am in a good mood. today was a good day. open house went good and that made me happy.we sounded pretty good and made over 100 dollars and vica made lotz too.i'm okies.last night was crazy but today was nice. nice calm day that is what i like.u yeah i am tired. off to beddy bye. night night everyone.
 If i was a serial killer i would be Lizzy Borden.
Lizzy Borden, not by definition a serial killer, but a notorious killer nonetheless. One day as her father was napping on the living room sofa Lizzy Borden took an axe and hit her father's head with it repeatedly some where around 40 times, completely disfiguring his face into an unrecognizable mess of blood and gore. Almost immediately after Lizzy attacked her mother in her bedroom, again hitting her head with an axe over 40 times. Lizzie Borden took an axe,
And gave her father forty whacks.
And when she saw what she had done,
She gave her mother forty-one.
kill count: 2
Find what serial killer you would be, Take the Serial Killer Quiz now! |
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[ 11.06.04 - 5:01pm] |
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bleedingdreamz's journal
